I’m still trying to figure out what is kinky fuckery. I don’t think what we do in and out of the bedroom is kinky fuckery, but I have been told that for other people that it is. I guess that kinky fuckery could be defined as, any sexual activity that you find different or unusual. This definition leaves a lot for individual interpretation, which is a good thing. However, the definition strikes me as flat. After all I find that those people we know (n) that only have sex in the the same two or three positions, on a regular schedule and without variation different and unusual. That does not fit into what most people think of as kinky.
Things that people find kinky tend to be anything involving bondage, discipline, anal, more than a couple and so on. I am leaving out anything that is illegal (children, animals, etc) for obvious reasons. I’m not sure where this cultural definition comes from though, especially given that many of the so called kinky activities are done by many people. I could point fingers, but I have never found pointing fingers as a path towards solving anything, so I will refrain.
I am fascinated by this recent interest in things kinky all because of a poorly written book that went mainstream. I have been following a lot of hoopla surrounding Fifty-Shades and yes I have read all of the books. I found them to be very lacking in the kinky and the last two lacking in the fuckery. I thought Nine-in-a-Half Weeks the book and movie to be far more kinky and fuckery. For something truly kinky and fuckery read, not watch, READ the Story of O. That is a kinky fuckery read. Fifty-Shades is more of long, drawn out quasi-love story with some good sex scenes thrown in to get you to read and keep you reading. Then when the sex isn’t needed to keep your attention the sex is glossed over or skipped altogether.
However, what has happened is from what there is in the books has gotten people looking for kinky fuckery. Specifically the bondage and discipline angles. I suspect that it is more the bondage than the discipline. Despite many a persons protests everyone that I know who has tried bondage with a willing and caring partner has found bondage to be an enjoyable sexual activity. Notice I said willing and caring, all it takes is one shit-head to totally fuck-up bondage for someone. Please avoid the fucktards. As I said in the beginning, I don’t find bondage kinky at all.
For me, for us, bondage is a natural part of our sex life, even if at times I do come up with elaborate tie-down or up positions. I had plenty of non-bondage sex before discovering and trying bondage out. Looking back, pre-bondage was not as interesting, exciting and fulfilling as bondage is. Do we use bondage every time, no. Do we use bondage often, yes. However, bondage should have some definition as well, bondage for us is restraint and control. Simple as that. Does not matter whether it is her shirt pulled over her head which covers her eyes and keeps her hands out of the way or if it is one of my “I have an idea” nights and the whole kit-n-caboodle is broken out. My goal as the tie-er upper is to keep her restrained so that I may have control. Control in a good way, not in the negative connotations. That too should be specified.
With her restrained, I can focus on giving her pleasure. She while restrained can focus on being pleased without all of the distractions. What distractions? Name something and that is a distraction; lights, noise, kids, errant hair, blemish, and so on. I can control the physical side of what she is experiencing. Knowing her as well as I do, I can tease her, I give her a quick orgasm or I can prolong her orgasm until she is begging for release. I can position her in ways where she can experience pleasure in a new or different way. That is what bondage is for us. Is it kinky? To us nope. Hell, if we could we would give lessons to other people.
So I’m left wondering how to define Kinky Fuckery for all of those people who are looking (which at last count was over 150).
Is Kinky Fuckery bondage? Is it Discipline? Is kinky fuckery those things and more?
I guess that depends on who you are and what you think about sex. I find labeling things, especially in the arena of sex, just leads to problems.
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