I’m walking…well I am walking just about anywhere and I get to watch the expressions on the faces of the adults as I walk towards them. Expressions that range from a mild form of syntax error to full blown mental shut down. I can see the question on some of their lips, but for whatever reason-rules of social interaction to outright fear-they do not ask. Only scrunch up their faces, purse their lips, cock their heads, or any of the hundreds of other expressions I have seen. I enjoy the confusion I cause just by getting dressed.
“Would you like to use your instructor discount?” the lady behind the counter asks. She saw the hat, the long black coat, the black pants, but she failed to notice the woodland camouflage boots with neon laces, or the SpongeBob lanyard dangling from my pocket. She made an assumption, one that I have written about before, based only on what I was wearing.
“No thank you I’m like you,” I replied.
“Oh, you are an employee of the school.”
“No, no,” chuckling, “I’m like one of them,” waving absent mindedly at some college students walking by.
The lady cocks her head to the side. One plus one do not add up to two. I get a discount and she gets reassured that she is not the only person who has thought one thing and found another by looking at my clothing.
As I enter my boy’s school parents standing around smile then frown at me. The smile starts at my head and the frown ends when their vision reaches my legs. The hat, the face, and the long black coat all say adult possibly a responsible adult with a job. Then they look down and see my forest green camouflage pants sticking out underneath the coat along with the SpongeBob lanyard flapping about. He can’t be serious. He can’t be an adult. Something must be wrong with him, but what…is he dangerous? Is he crazy? Is he an eccentric? Is he…I love watching each person’s face which only makes them more uncomfortable.
Watching couples and friends huddle together to discuss me is always fun. I do not disappoint if my girl is with me our conversation is loud enough that anyone can hear what we are saying and because of her conversational style always all across the board, but I treat it like a serious thing. More confusion.
So far nobody has asked me why I dress the way I do, but when someone does the first thing they are getting from me is: “The duality of man. You know the Jungian thing?” Of course if they haven’t seen Full Metal Jacket that may well go over their heads, but at least I got to say it. Or I might just say, “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.”
For those of you who have been patiently waiting for the sex conversation to start up again, your wait is nearing an end. A post about a closet and then the questions, answers, and conversation should begin again. Hope you are ready.
To everyone who visits, reads, comments, and looks at my blog THANK YOU. I cannot adequately express how much I appreciate every one of you.