I have zero sense of time. When I wrote out my “schedule of posts” yesterday I didn’t notice that yesterday was the 14th which would make today the 15th and on the 15th I want to do a One Paragraph At A Time (Erotica-ish Challenge). What is that? I take prompts given to me by other people and my goal is to write a single paragraph of erotica-ish material. Last time, the paragraphs would have been more introductions to characters in a longer story so some leeway is required. These are fun writing challenges to attempt especially when the person or people giving the prompts is creative.
Thankfully, Betty Homebanger jumped up and provided me three prompts and I gave her three. My…our hope…is that other people join in and prompting and erotica-ish writing flows all across WordPress bringing smiles to everyone. If you have some prompts feel free to put them in the comments and I will get to them next time.
Prompt One: A horny proctologist, dental floss, a garden gnome, and a nosy neighbor.
Laura hated assholes. She smiled and chuckled almost immediately as soon as the thought crossed her mind. As the city’s number one proctologist she dealt with assholes everyday, but Dale her nosey neighbor was an asshole she could do without. Laura was looking forward to having some private time to herself, well herself and her new Hitachi Magic Wand. After a long day she loved and needed to unwind. Dale was not what she thought of as unwinding. There he was again standing next to that ugly garden gnome flossing his teeth. She knew that garden gnome was a camera aimed at her bedroom, but she always kept her blinds closed. What a pig, Laura thought as she plastered her best I am happy to see your asshole look on her face. Maybe today she would give the gnome a show.
Prompt Two: A leprechaun, a coffee grinder, a book, and a librarian.
BAMF! An acrid purple and pink cloud of smoke appeared in the middle of the summoning circle. Josie dropped the coffee grinder which shattered into many plastic pieces across the library floor. The spell worked. The spell really worked. She was giddy with joy and excited at the knowledge she would be able to get from this creature from beyond. The smoke cleared and standing there was…a small man with pointed ears, a red moustache, red pointed beard, red chest hair and the largest cock thrusting out from a nest of red pubic hair that she had ever seen. “Aye that put some wood in my shillelagh,” the naked man said. Then she noticed the green hat on his head. “Lass ye summoned me now what for?” he asked with a leer. He was undressing her with his emerald green eyes and she was liking the attention. “Um..,” she faltered. “Did ye want my pot of gold or the secrets of leprechaun lovin lass,” he finished the sentence with a flourish of his hips and a smile. Joise reached for her spell book. “No need for that lass. I show ye what ye never thought was possible.”
Prompt Three: A queen, a piper, bagpipes, and a bloody battle.
The battle was over the kingdom had been saved. The lone piper on the balcony began the Lament for the Fallen on the bagpipes. Other pipers picked up the lament across the city. Queen Latifa surveyed the battlefield from the balcony next to the piper. The enemy had gotten to the walls, then beaten back over many bloody days. Her kingdom would live on, but today was day of celebration. The entire city was afire with the lusty activity that was the most basic celebration of life. Queen Latifa also needed to celebrate the victory and life, alas the King was away and all of her favorite knights were busy celebrating as they should. The only person nearby was the piper, he was beneath her station, but he did have stamina. “Piper! Put down those pipes and attend your Queen,” she said as she raised her dress high.
To see what prompts I gave her and how she handled them (awesome by the way) go here. Enjoy.