Bondage For Beginners: Pleasure Principle

16 May 2013 12 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Bondage For Beginners Tags: Bondage, Bondage For Beginners, Kinky Fuckery, Massage, Sex

So you have a person tied down, you realize that you have a lot more time available than normal, and you don’t know what to do. Let me ask you this question, how well do you know the body of the person you have tied up? Probably not as well as you think or as you could. One of the things that most people are not taught is to get to know the body of the person you are with. How do they react to certain touches. Where to touch them other than the obvious spots. How to give pleasure without going straight for the obvious spots. In other words, to learn how your partner’s body reacts.

Let’s start with some pretty easy things to do that are not obviously sexual in nature, but trust me once you learn how your partner’s body reacts to a variety of stimulations sex will become a lot more fulfilling.

Light Touch

A light touch of fingers sliding across bare skin is one of my favorite sensations to do to a bound person. Just use the very tips of your fingers one, two, three, or more fingers barely touching the skin. Don’t move your hands in fingers in predictable directions either, move them around from place to place in a natural, but unpredictable fashion. Try not to linger in one place either move from back of thigh up to butt up the person’s back and down their sides. Be careful there is a difference between light touch and tickling (see below).

Do you have long hair? Drag that long hair over the person’s body. Whip them lightly with your hair-careful of neck strain and getting hair in the bound person’s mouth or eyes. Don’t have long hair no worries. Take a light cloth like a bandana or scarf and lightly drag that over the person’s body. While you are doing this you should be paying attention to how they react and where they react the most or the least.

Rough (Firm thank you Mrs. Fever) Touch

Use more of the fingers, finger tips or palms when moving your hands across their body. Apply more pressure. You are not giving a massage, but giving more tactile sensation-more skin contact. Again pay attention to how the person reacts. To provide some variety use your finger nails for light scratching. Mixing the light and rough touches together provides the most sensation, variety, and tends to get the best reactions out of a person.

Important, do not just focus on the genitals. The goal is to get to know your partner’s body and the only way to do that is to explore all parts of their body using your hands and senses. Feet, hands, ears, scalp, stomach, back, and every other part in between. When they inhale slightly or tense up, remember what you were doing. You can use that later when you want to get or keep their attention while they are bound.

Massage

Everyone loves a good massage. Everyone despises a bad massage. Most people think that they give good massages. THEY DON’T. Becoming good at massage is a combination of understanding human anatomy, knowing a combination of light and rough touch, and most of all understanding what the person getting the massage wants and needs. The best massages, like bondage, take time. Not five minutes, but half-hour to an hour of time spent working on the person’s entire body. A goal of a massage, especially with someone who is bound, is to get them relaxed, to get them in a good mental space, to relive or prevent any aches from being bound. This is not achieved by roughly crushing, pinching, or whatever most people call a massage to the neck or shoulders for three to five minutes. This is achieved through time, the application of a variety of techniques, none of which I am qualified to write about. Thankfully there are many good books on massage. When you can give a good massage you will get great sex in return or a good massage in return.

Tickling

Personally I am not a fan of tickling during bondage, but tickling happens. More than tickling happens is that you know whether the person likes to be tickled and where they are ticklish and what tickles them. Thus I suggest that you ask first, before any bondage and then while you are learning your partner’s body using any of the above you pay attention to any new or unknown tickle spots. How you use them is up to you.

Ice

Finally some fun. Ice cubes are a fun way to explore a person’s body. Watching their skin react, watching how their body reacts to both the ice and the cold water that comes off the melting cube is always interesting.

In conclusion, remember a goal of everyone should be to learn how their partner’s body reacts to a variety of stimulation. During bondage when a person has nothing to do but stay in one place being able to provide a variety of stimulation to a variety of locations on their body is the best way to keep their attention where you want it to be.

For further reading see:

Bondage for Beginners

Bondage for Beginning Beginners

Bondage for Beginning Beginners II

Bondage for Beginners Cuff Special

Bondage for Beginners: Cuff Special Now with Photos

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 1)

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 2)

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 3)

Bondage for…Well I’m Not Sure Yet

Bondage for Beginners, What To Do Overview

Well…Dat Happened (Updated)

14 May 2013 33 Comments

by ankoku1331 in BALLS!!! Tags: Blogger, Kinky Fuckery, Sex, Writing

Where has everyone gone?* No not my stats. Yes they have fallen off a second cliff back to when I first started off levels (like sub 100 views for the curious), but that isn’t what I am asking. I’m wondering where have all of the bloggers gone? Summer weather? Finals? Life getting in the way? Walked away? No clue, but something that I have noticed lately is a lot less posts from bloggers that I follow. Odd and slightly disturbing to me. Odd because I like reading the near daily posts. Disturbing because some of the bloggers who are not posting were long time bloggers. Think of it in terms of me coming to terms with my own blogging mortality.

The other odd thing about this second dip, and the absence is the timing-just as everyone moves away from here for the summer. Just when I am looking forward to having many weeks where I don’t have to write about school and can post away about whatever really is on my mind. Just when several blogging opportunities arose things change in an unexpected way.

So while I ponder my blogging mortality, and then realize that I have been writing non-stop for twenty plus years I keep working on other stuff. Such as, I like having certain days when I post certain topics. Makes writing easier for me and gives you something to look forward too. I got away from that over the past few months.

Monday: Building A Better Blogger

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday: Whatever I want

Friday: Kinky Fuckery

Saturday and Sunday: Potentially Erotica or Naked In Life Stuff

15th of each month: One Paragraph At A Time (Erotica-ish)

30th/31st of each month: Answering the ?’s You Search For

I have a request for anyone and everyone who would like to take part, if you have an prompts for One Paragraph At A Time please send them my way. **

Wondering what will be happening over on Speaking Out on Life? Building A Better Blogger of course, but the people over there seem interested, but they do not comment at all. Food Stuff, recipes and other food related thoughts from me. Return To Role-Playing (this could be a KF post here ), my journal of sorts as I work on a role-playing campaign for the first time in a decade.

Hopefully everything shakes itself out and blogging life returns to “normal.” Until then I will be posting away. Hope to see all of you here or over there or over at the other there.

Oh, yeah I forgot, with Speaking Out on Blogging up and kinda of running, if you would like your blog to be used as an example and/or link please let me know. I have a bunch of confirmations already, but want to make sure everyone else gets a chance.

* Want to know where many people have gone? Read the comments. A lot of bloggers checked-in with mini-updates and I am glad to say that all of them are around.

** Looks like Betty Homebanger and I will be prompting each other for full on erotica and paragraphs of erotica-ish material. Anyone want to get some prompting or prompt us? Here are the prompts I sent her in case you were wondering what all of this was all about:

#1: A 24 hour dinner, a truck driver, a waitress with the hiccups, and a glass of water.
#2: A magic mushroom, 2 fairies with butterfly wings, and a spider with a knack for tying knots.
#3: A less than virtuous maiden, a knight with a secret, an innkeeper looking to make some money, and a rainy night.

Bondage For Beginners, What To Do Overview

11 May 2013 12 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Bondage For Beginners, Kinky Fuckery Tags: Bondage, Bondage For Beginners, Kinky Fuckery, Sex

Something that shows up a lot, and by a lot I mean well over a 100 times a month in my search terms are a lot of “what to do,” “ideas for,” and so on terms all revolving around bondage. For whatever reason I have not really addressed them until today. Okay, if I am being honest, I thought I had with previous Bondage For Beginners posts, but upon a good re-reading I have not given any suggestions to do with a bound person, but how to tie up people and some basic positions to tie people up. I should have thought about that before, given that one of Barb’s biggest issues with tying me up is, “I don’t know what to do.”

I aim to rectify these things over a few posts. This first post will be a general overview.

An Assumption

The What To Do posts will make the following assumption, that someone is bound somewhere. If nobody is bound then you need to start there. If you do not know how to do that then you should consult any of the Bondage For Beginners posts.

What To Do an Overview

Hey that rhymed. Personally I don’t understand why people don’t know what to do with a bound person. For me the thoughts, plans, and ideas just come naturally. That being said, I am aware that there are people who would like some ideas, plans, suggestions, or even directions. Hopefully, this will be a good start.

Why do I like bondage? I get to take my time. That is a top ten reason. With someone bound you have all the time in the world to do whatever you have in mind or have discussed with the person beforehand. Keep that in mind, time. No need to rush. No need to be quick. Time to savor. Time to enjoy. Time to give pleasure. Most people are so used to rushing around, that they rush or try to rush sex. Bondage gives you that time. So one of my first suggestions is to think before you break out the ties, scarves, or cuffs.

Think about what you want to do. Do you want to try something new? Do you want to try a position or even a couple of positions? Do you want to play with a new toy? Do you want to make them beg? In other words come up with at least a rough idea of what you will be doing and what you want them to do or experience.

Example: Here is a rough plan of mine. I want Barb on her back. I don’t care where her arms are, other than not in my way. Her arms could go above her head, to the sides of the bed or cuffed under her neck. I do want her legs out of the way. Given that I know she can be squirmy I want her legs to have a minimal amount of movement. No closing or wiggling about. Why do I want these things? My goal is to spend as much time as necessary going down on her. Not to get her to an immediate orgasm, but to get her close, then stop, then close again, stop, and close again…you get the idea. I want her to have a big orgasm, not just a quick orgasm.

To break that down into a simple list:

Goal: Big Orgasm via “teasing”

Position (s): Legs out of the way

Tools: Cuffs and some straps

See simple enough that anyone can make a basic plan using just those three categories.

What if you aren’t a planner? I still suggest that you have a rough dea of what you would like to do. You can go with the flow from that point on, but one of the worse mood-killers for any bondage session is no action. The bound person has nothing to do other than experience what you are doing. If you are not doing anything or not doing enough, the bound person will get bored and possibly out of the mood. This is why you should have at least a rough idea.

Do not give the bound person time to think about anything other than anticipation of what is going to happen. Not the temperature of the room. Not what they might look like. Not the grocery list. Not what is on television later. Keep them occupied. Keeping them occupied requires experience, or a plan if you don’t have a lot of experience.

Next post some suggestions based on experience. Until then, spend some time thinking about what you want to do and what you want them to experience. Just those two things will go a long way towards a fun time.

For further reading see:

Bondage for Beginners

Bondage for Beginning Beginners

Bondage for Beginning Beginners II

Bondage for Beginners Cuff Special

Bondage for Beginners: Cuff Special Now with Photos

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 1)

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 2)

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 3)

Bondage for…Well I’m Not Sure Yet

Bondage for Beginners: Pleasure Principle

Bondage For…Well I’m Not Sure Yet

07 May 2013 16 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Bondage For Beginners, Kinky Fuckery Tags: Bondage, Bondage For Beginners, Happy Clown, Kinky Fuckery, Sex

I have always wanted a spreader bar or two. Always have. Just like I want to finally get settled down in one place and rebuild my bondage closet. “So, go out and get a spreader bar or two,” you are saying and you would be right, and you will also be interested to know that before the one I just bought arrived (see what I did there) I had built one. Something I should investigate is why my “manly” building urges and talent only revolve around bondage….well at least the tools are getting used for something. Not that my grandfather would understand or be proud-he got me the tool set I think as a gag gift and statement. Again another story.

My homemade spreader bar was nothing more than a wooden rod (ha) with eye bolts at either end for attaching cuff to. Not very pretty, but functional, up to a point. There was no dedicated way to attach both arms and legs, one or the other, and the eyebolts allowed for movement than I felt was good for what I usually have in mind and in some instances safe. Still functional, whatever was put in cuffs stayed apart, but for whatever reason I never got around to truly incorporating the spreader bar into my bondage thoughts, routines, and most importantly activities. Now that I am thinking about the matter I think I have used that spreader bar less than twenty-times.

I love the control and restraint aspect of bondage. Which is why my homemade spreader bar probably did not get used as much as I would like. The range of movement that could be achieved, while small, was still enough to bother me. That the bar did not have the capability to hold more than two limbs or be connected, easily to anything else, definitely bothered me.

Now all of that is in the past. My homemade spreader bar is displayed like some sort of artifact from another age, which it is. The new spreader bar, not made by me, has spots for four limbs and can easily be attached to other gear that I have. I love that! The bar has some flex which is good, but movement is seriously restricted, once in you are not going anywhere at all. The first position I used was right off the picture on the box…I know where is my creativity…well I like to read instructions too…creativity will come soon enough (post finals ). No movement arms stayed where they were, legs stayed where they were, and struggling was fun to watch.

Which brings me to my minor mental confuddle….how best to incorporate this very fun and useful toy into everything I do and when I finally get around to explaining to others where does a spreader bar fall into the wonderful range of Bondage for series? I don’t think beginner, although I think beginners would get a kick out of it or have a grand-mal freak out. Intermediate, Ranked Amateur, or Advanced seem about right? Like I said a minor mental conduddle. More interesting to me is all of the WONDERFUL thoughts racing around my head about positions, toys to use with, and activities to try and try again.

And IF I can get someone to use the spreader bar for Naked in Life or Naked in Bondage (ugh lame name…damn it)…FUN to be had and stuff to write about.

For further reading see:

Bondage for Beginners

Bondage for Beginning Beginners

Bondage for Beginning Beginners II

Bondage for Beginners Cuff Special

Bondage for Beginners: Cuff Special Now with Photos

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 1)

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 2)

Bondage for Amateur Novices (Part 3)

Bondage for Beginners, What To Do Overview

Bondage for Beginners: Pleasure Principle

800th Post Extravaganza

03 May 2013 6 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Deep Thought Tags: 100th, College, Communication, Happy Clown, Kinky Fuckery, Naked in Life, Sex

It’s here!

It’s here!

The 800th Post Extravaganza!

799 posts in the making. A product of a lot of words, many photos, even some videos, a lot of laughs, some cries, controversy, shocking revelations, even a pregnancy or two the 800th Post Extravaganza is not just my child anymore. The 800th Post Extravaganza is the child of everyone who has taken part in this blog, which has gone by many names (who ever said naming a baby was easy should be smacked): Speaking Out in Class, Speaking Out on Sex, and Speaking Out on Nate. Look upon the baby you have created, but beware of the mess. Babies are messy.

Retrospective 99 times backwards

For the last several 100th posts I have not had much to look back upon, but these last 99 call for a loud WHAT THE FUCK! Just seems appropriate. Let’s start with the bad:

BAD: Speaking Out on Nate was flagged as Mature. I have covered this in detail here and here and here and the fallout here. While I agree with the mature flag, how WordPress went about the process and what actions they have taken, publically (I have no clue what is happening behind the scenes) since has been less than pleasing to me.

GOOD: Out of the bad came the following good: The Ressurected BILF Award. I have been following where the BILF has been going and gone since I re-handed it out. Most people are passing the BILF along to other mature-themed bloggers with the intentions that I hoped: acknowledgement/recognition AND to work on building a community of mature bloggers. Granted the second intention seems to be falling by the wayside the further out the award goes from the center and the message, on a few blogs, has been distorted. Still I have seen this ONE award passed along to more bloggers than I could have hoped for and I have yet to see the award get caught in one of those blog award loops where an award is handed out among the same seven bloggers.

GOOD: Blogships, in the past 99 posts I have made so many blogships (borrowing term from Love, Sex, and Marriage wish her a happy 200th while you are here). What is a blogship, a friendship with a fellow blogger. The blogships, make blogging so much more fun. Related to the blogships, have been the AWESOME conversations that have been on-going for many weeks and months. I know that I have not posted a lot of thought provoking material in a while, yet the conversation keeps going. I look forward to deepening many of the blogships I have made and making new blogships over the next 99 posts. If/when we ever get the money I want to travel the country actually meeting many of you…but not at a coffee shop, I just don’t dig on coffee.

GOOD: In my drive to form a mature-themed blogger community* I made my Sharing A Thought list of fellow mature-themed bloggers. I was unprepared for what has happened. First, I just updated the list with four more bloggers. Hopefully I am getting closer to having everyone I follow on the list and if you have suggestions for me speak up. So what has happened? Everyday since I posted the list, my outbound clicks, links that people take to go elsewhere or look at photos, has EXPLODED with people using those links to visit other bloggers. That is AWESOME to me. Anywhere from 5 to 25 clicks a day to other blogs.

*Why a mature-themed blogger community, because there is strength in numbers. At the moment WordPress treats those of us flagged as mature as something to be shunted off into a corner and ignored. I want to be able to show them a community of bloggers who want the same things that every other WordPress blogger gets: A mature-themed reader, a gateway where we can be as mature as we want without having to worry about being banned at any moment by someone who stumbles across our blog, a mature themed PRESS THIS, and so on.

FUN: The last 99 posts have been a shitload of FUN! Kinky Fuckeries led to a lot of the above, were fun conversations, and thought provoking. Building a Better Blogger were fun and showed me that there is a community of people out there. Plus the assistance that everyone has been providing is invaluable to me and soon enough a classroom of students. Outside of the ontopic conversations have been the numerous just fun back and forth talks…and lest I forget and as a way to encourage Mrs. Fever, she asked several bloggers, myself included, to write a post on a topic and then she published them on her blog. Here is mine…Interview With A Mosquito.

For Your Boobday Pleasure

I am a huge fan of boobday and I would love to see boobday become huge (ha). I think boobday is great way for bloggers with boobs to celebrate and some of the photos I have seen look like people are putting some fun thought into the whole thing. Boobday even inspired me and has gotten other people with boobs inspired enough to indulge my inspirations.

A Look Forward

So what do you have to look forward to in the next 100 posts? Now that the semester from HELL is over and after I take a couple of days to decompress from what I experienced, I want to get back to some of the thought provoking Kinky Fuckeries. There is so much sex and sexuality that has not been talked about…at least on my blog.

With a whole summer before I am supposed to teach other people how to blog, expect more Building A Better Bloggers. Soon enough the Building A Better Bloggers will turn into a separate blog and some “finalized” information for the class. I hope that you continue to take part and follow along as I teach a class.

Thanks to Mrs. Fever, you can expect some erotica or if the erotica is poorly written you can blame her. I leave the decision up to you, but I leave you with this sample:

“She lay there on her back expectant, but unsure what would be required of her.”

Speaking of Mrs. Fever, I may follow in her blogsteps with her frompt, see somewhere above, and ask some fellow bloggers to write a post on a specific topic. I am pondering that, however if you would like to sway my pondering one way or another let me know.

Don’t forget the Ultimate Sex Closet and Sex House either.

Lastly, IF (big if over the summer) I get the opportunity, I will be taking more photos for the blog, for more of the Bondage for…series, and an even BIGGER IF, laying the ground work for a new Naked in Life.

Always End With A Thank You

THANK YOU

To each and everyone of you who reads, follows, comments, and takes part on and off of this blog. Each of you has enriched my life in a way that I never expected when I started this blog. I hope to continue building our blogships, make a few new blogships, and maybe deities willing form a large community of like minded-individuals where we can be us. See you all on Post 801.

Oh yeah, always remember to feed your snail.

Rabid Dog of Answering the ?’s You Search For

30 Apr 2013 2 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Answering the ?s Tags: Amused Clown, Bondage, Food, Inspired Clown, Kinky Fuckery, Research Monkey, Sex, Sex Doll

Hello, I am your Research Monkey PHD. Today was a good day for me. I have an Answering the ?’s You Search For to do and those always make me smile even as I shake my head at you humans and your strange questions. The other reason I am smiling is that my boss was called an ass by one professor and had his assiness confirmed by another. I know I often think he is an ass. Yes, I am aware that he is my boss and will read this, just as he is aware that I and others in the office think that he can be an ass. Talk about your double prizer.

Now onto the ?’s and Search Terms that you used to get here that caught my attention.

Kinky Cooking

I had to think about this and talk with Mrs. Research Monkey, but here is what we came up with, cooking bacon in the nude, making a chocolate or caramel sauce-letting the sauce cool-and then pouring the sauce over your favorite body parts, anything with bananas, and for those looking to go full out kinky in the kitchen break out the bondage gear. Interestingly enough a bondage mask could be both kinky and useful when cooking bacon in the nude.

Sex Acts To Do Before You Die

To the person who looked for this, name a sex act that you SHOULDN’T do before you die.

Hanged Naked Erection

My first thought was the Hanged Man Tarot Card. Then I did a search and for whatever reason all of the hanged men are wearing clothing. Then I remembered that when a man is hanged sometimes they get erections, sometimes ejaculate, and sometimes defecate. By this point I realized that I had put more work into this search term and the clarified search term Hanged Naked Men Erection than I had on anything else the boss had assigned me for the week.

Monkey Sex Stories

Always wrap your banana in a banana leaf when swinging with new monkeys.

In a pinch a fresh mango will do when a female is not around.

As much fun as bananas are plantains, even though they are shorter, are more durable.

Well that is more Monkey Sex Advice, but you can use your human sized imaginations to turn them into stories.

How To Make A Sex Doll Out of Pillows

Lay pillows on bed or other surface. Make sure that there are enough pillows for you to lay upon comfortably. Especially make sure that there are enough pillows underneath you that when you begin thrusting vigorously that you do not inadvertently jam your junk into the floor. For the crafty you could draw a face and other important parts onto your pillows or sew what you need to give the pillows that “human” look. For those both crafty and feeling froggy, extra pillows could be sewn on to make breasts of your favorite size and holes could be made for orifices of your choice. This sounds like a craft and Etsy project.

Is Scratching During Sex Kinky

Depends on how you scratched, where you scratched, and if you had an itch.

Kinky Priest

I will get back to you later.

Salsa Dancing Then Sex Porn

Men who can dance have been known to get coitus more than men who cannot or not willing to dance. Thus I suggest that you learn how to dance and then you too can dance right into a sex porn.

I Have A Big Smile After Sex

So do we all.

And with that another installment of Answering the ?’s You Search For has come to an end. I will endeavor to bring one to you at least every two months.

-Research Monkey, PHD

Kinky Fuckery: Eyes Up Here Buddy

28 Apr 2013 11 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Kinky Fuckery Tags: Amused Clown, Commando, Communication, Kinky Fuckery, Sex

I was standing in the bosses office, supposedly in “trouble” again. Trouble, for me, was speaking my mind about the lack-luster leadership, shoddy conditions, and that I was taking a week off for vacation. The boss was a short man who let his assistant do all of the dirty work. Given that she enjoyed the power, she liked to tell people that she really was the boss when the boss was around and I was telling him that. Suffice to say two half-ass bosses was not creating a harmonious work environment, however what struck me most about the whole meeting was when I noticed my boss staring at my crotch.

Up to that moment I had never paid any attention to not wearing underware or in the vernacular going commando. I cleared my throat which drew his attention from my cock in hiding to my face.

“I’m up here. Since you haven’t heard a word I said I’m leaving. She,” pointing at the assistant, “can tell you what I said.”

That was my last day working there, I did get my week’s paid vacation first, and the first day I noticed that I wasn’t wearing drawers.

I don’t remember when I stopped wearing underware. One day I just stopped and have not looked back…down on occasion, but never back. I can tell you that I didn’t stop with an eye towards being cool, sexy, or anything else. I don’t like underware, especially male underware. Take into account that I am old enough that I can remember when tighty-whities, colored tighty-whities (black, blue, and grey), along with Underoos were the primary choices and Underoos were made with kids in mind. Boxers existed of course but were no more stylish than the standard tighty-whities.

So what can I tell you about going commando that you may not know, need to know, or want to know?

You will save money on not having to buy underware.
You will save time on laundry.
You will save time on getting dressed.
You will not be fashion forward as underware goes, but at the same time you don’t have to worry about the condition of your underware during a date.
Scratching is easier.
Breezes feel good…no great.
Cold gets to you sooner.
Hot weather or temperatures are not a problem as their is plenty of room for circulation.
Jeans are rough on the twig and berries.
Khakis in particular feel good.
Fatigues, like I wear, are great with enough space for swingage, yet tight enough that people looking will notice.
Wedgies are a thing of the past.
Zippers are to be feared.
Buttons are awesome unless your penis learns how to undo them.
“Short” hairs can get caught in zips…ouch!
Shaved balls feel extra nice especially against a good cloth.
Errections stand out more.
For those in a hurry time saved going to the bathroom is nice.
For those in a rush not having underware does allow quicker exposure of junk to partners.
You don’t have to look for your underware post coitus.
Some people, unobservant people I have notice, enjoy the surprise of finding skin instead of cloth when reaching into your pants.
The extra attention is nice.

Finally, I offer this up for people who have to stand up in front of people and speak (read college communication classes), going commando has another benefit, at least for a little while they are not looking you in the face which takes the pressure off.

Kinky Fuckery: A Special Request

25 Apr 2013 21 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Kinky Fuckery Tags: Bondage, Kinky Fuckery, Sex, Sex Closet

Last night and hopefully today you were looking at the first of several plans for the BEST SEX CLOSET ever. I had asked a friend of mine to create the plans for me and he has gone leaps and bounds beyond what I had originally asked. Because of the feedback he saw on the blog, he came to me with an idea and a request. See leaving comments can lead to dreams being fulfilled.

He enjoyed trying to fit some last minute requests into the plan, but because of timing was not able to accommodate all of the request. See where this is going?

My Man From Calcutta asked me last night if I would like him to design an ENTIRE house in the same vein as the closet. “HELL YEAH!” I replied. THE BEST SEX HOUSE ever…wait that sounds like a musical about a bordello…damnit! Well we will work on a better name later. Right now while he is in the beginning phase he would like to hear any and all requests for the plans.

That’s right folks if you have any request, desire, dream, delusion, or fantasy that you would like to see in a house-your house speak up in the comments and I will make sure he sees them. Don’t worry if you don’t get your request in today, tomorrow, or even next week he says this will take some time to accomplish. He will be accepting requests for a while. I of course will post updates and reminders to get your requests in.

Have fun.

Addendum: I just received an IM from My Woman From Calcutta, she would like me to let you know that she had a hand in the design process as well. I believe in giving credit where credit is due.

Kinky Fuckery: A Special Preview

24 Apr 2013 20 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Kinky Fuckery Tags: Bondage, Happy Clown, Kinky Fuckery, Sex, Sex Closet

Some of you have been waiting patiently for this. Others will have no clue.

My Man from Calcutta informs me that there is an electrical and plumbing diagram along with some explanations to follow.

For now look upon the FUTURE OF SEX CLOSETS with awe.

Kinky Fuckery: Mind Set

22 Apr 2013 9 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Kinky Fuckery Tags: Barb, Communication, Dominance-Submissive, Food, Inspired Clown, Kinky Fuckery, Research Monkey, Sex

Hello, I am your Research Monkey, PHD. Welcome to the first of inside Nate’s mind, thoughts, or thinking process or well whatever in the hell you want to call the week long mess you are about to read. Normally questions and the inner workings of my boss are my prevue to write and notify you about, however, this week he has decided to take the responsibility himself. I apologize now for the language and what I will assume are many typos to be.

-R. Monkey, PHD

I enjoy examining how I think about…well everything. Recently I wrote a post where I was talking or trying to talk about the mental leap, okay less of a leap and more of a step, that I have been going through in the sexual area. After answering some questions I got to thinking about what I was trying to say, what I said, and how to say what I was trying to say better or clearer. Follow that? Sure you did.

I have two very broad ways that I think about sex that I am going to have. There is the way I was raised to treat women, which is respectful of their wants and needs. Making sure that their sexual needs and wants are understood and realized, before mine are (yes, Barb gets hers first, most of the time, and definitely all of the time). I have spent most of my sexual life learning about women from women and any other source that I can. I use what I know ,in general, combined with what I learn from the woman I am with, in this case Barb to make sure that she…well she is pleased in the bedroom.

Then there is the way I approach bondage. Bondage is a plan. I come up with something (s) that I want to do, or to accomplish: such as a position, long foreplay, photowork, wax play, or just about anything else. Then I plan the whole thing out. Well the whole thing out as far as equipment needed, positions, and transitions to new positions (I like to make one bondage position to the other as smooth as possible). Bondage does have an organic component to me, usually during, on occasion spur of the moment, but in general I have given the matter some thought before hand. Often well before hand. Usually I have three or four bondage plans roaming around my head.

Together the two ways of thinking combine into a successful method of sex: bondage or no bondage.

Now I am trying to incorporate another way of thinking. One that has been there in the back of my head forever, but not in a sexual sense or at least not recognized in a sexual sense. Being in charge is not something that I have thought about from a sexual sense other than when the topic of male-male-female threesomes is brought up by someone other than us. I have never felt the need to “take charge” or “be dominant” with a woman in the bedroom. Lead in new activities sure, but the traditional role of a Dom is not something I have any thought to and in a way, to me, is counter to my first way of thinking about sex. I give pleasure by doing not by ordering, commanding, leading, or any other word. At least I had not thought about it from that angle. Now I am.

Which leads to the mental step that I am working through. As you can probably tell I am used to either going with the flow or making plans, generally speaking, in neither case do I need to maintain a façade, a persona, or think about what should/could happen. To lead is to have an idea of a direction and to be able to react to changes that occur. I am not sure of the direction I can go, let alone want to go. Every time something new is added to the mix which means something new to learn to incorporate.

A good example one that may be relatable: Bondage is like Chinese cooking-you can give me just about any number of Chinese ingredients and I can make up many dishes. D/s is like Indian cooking which I am just now learning-many of the ingredients are familiar, but I have yet to make my own recipes.

I think that example sums up my mental leap best. I am learning how to cook something new and how to merge the new flavors with the old to make even better food.

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