New Sight, No Silence, No Work!

17 Apr 2013 12 Comments

by ankoku1331 in BALLS!!! Tags: , , , ,

Today has been an odd duck of a day.  I had one goal today, write my term paper for the class I can’t stand for the professor I don’t respect.  This means that for me this is not something that I want to do.  This in fact makes this work.  Writing is not work for me.  This is work for me.

I had the single goal of by now having the entire 10 page rough draft written out and by now be working on the edits, finalizing the text, inserting citations, and being done.  A, B, C, D, or F I do not really care.  That is how disgusted I am with this class.  My usual over the top pride in my work has not kicked in either.  Sure there is a twinge of guilt when I read what I have written, but I do not want to waste any more of my time.  I just don’t.

It is possible that by the end my pride in my work will kick in and I will make an awesome paper and give an awesome presentation.  However at this moment I am seriously leaning towards wadding my paper up and throwing it at the professor while I give my presentation which starts with, “Aside from you and you (pointing directly at two students) the rest of you should seriously give a thought to dropping out and finding a minimum wage job at a fast food restaurant or someone to marry because none of you are worth a shit.” I won’t do that.  I want to do that.  No scratch that what I really want to do is call their parents and let their parents know that little Johnny and little Betty have missed close to three or in one case four WEEKS of class. Me? I have not missed a single day.  In fact I was even there when the professor decided to take a day off.  Thus my attendance is perfect and I know the material.

So with that one, single, solitary goal in mind do you know how much I got done?

None.  Well that is not true I got roughly 400 hundred words typed out which interestingly enough is about how many words there are here.  Why do I have a similar amount of words here and in under 10 minutes when a full 10 hours of work have passed by?  Chalk it up to my children.  Originally I only had one child, but she would not stop talking and she for whatever reason could not occupy herself like she usually does.  Even allowing her to watch her shows did not work.  I can work through some noise, but non-stop chattering kills my train of thought.

Want to guess when I got my 400 words done?  If you guessed when Barb took her to get the boy from school.  That brief amount of time I banged out a bunch of words.  Then both children were home and inspite of being asked to be quiet, to leave dad alone, to occupy themselves neither of them could do so.  Well that is not true…while I was cooking dinner my girl assisted and my boy occupied himself.

Then…cue ominous music…I sat down to work on my paper, my fingers touched the keypad I typed “Th…$#^QOENW!!!!” as suddenly my boy HAD to ask me a question.  A question SO important that he had to ask ME.  Not his mother who has been sitting in a chair “working” on the same email for close to two hours.  No he HAD to ask me.

Now I have my peace and quiet.  I blew my top.  The kids are playing upstairs and I feel like an ass.

Did I mention I got new glasses?

See odd duck.

I Can See

04 Apr 2013 4 Comments

by ankoku1331 in BALLS!!! Tags: , , , , ,

Tama de!

Holy shitsnacks my vision has finally returned to normal which after the eye appointment I know need new glasses to see “correctly.”

They dilated my damn pupils and I didn’t like it.  My near-sightedness turned into near-blindedness.  Sensitivity to light FUCK ALL not only turn that fucking light that you are now shining in my eye down, but can someone shoot the sun out of the sky please?!  I’m already sensitive to light and now I am feeling a bit out of sorts, confused a bit because I can’t seem to make my eyes focus on anything within in 5 feet and if you can get that close to me and you are not a child of mine, Barb, owe me money, bringing me food, or attempting to have sex with you my natural instinct is to punch and kick until I am standing over you.  I know that I should not have to do that in the middle of the eye doctor’s but because I can’t focus on FUCK ALL my brain is reverting to old patterns of behavior.  Then there is the headache that did not start slowly, but as soon as I was exposed to light punched me in the fucking melon and now I am irritated.

Not a good combo.

Not a happy Nate.

And now my child who had behaving like a perfect angel during the hour and a half long exam with two interns has decided that she is going to disobey me.  She must sense weakness.  That will not stand and it does not, but since I cannot see clearly I can only hope that the child I have and am speaking to in mish-mash of angry dad, Chinese, and Japanese is mine.  Hell maybe I should have checked that the misbehaving child was mine in the first place.

We decided to walk to our appointment and now having to walk back with dilated eyes this exercise program seems like a huge honking mistake.  Better to get behind two tons of steel and drive blind than walk.  Better to crush a few fucktards in our bid to get home and out of the light faster than to have to walk.  Lose weight bah!  I don’t need to see my junk or feet again.  Deity damn this headache is enough to make me wish I heard voices and talked to inanimate objects.

Made it home wearing cheap plastic dark colored wrap around “sunglasses” that make me look like a elderly hobo.  TURN OFF ALL of the lights!  Close the blinds!  Turn on the computer. FUCK DOUBLE FUCK ALL my retinas.  Why in the hell do I have the brightness turned up to retina searing brain frying 100!   Resist urge to smash the computer into paste.

My head hurts.  My eyes are betraying me.  Oooooh a caramel apple sucker.

Ah, blessed peace as long as I keep my eyes closed.  Turn my head away from the sun trying to sneak in past the blinds.  FUCK its better.  Cover my head like you do with a parrot.

Sleep…nap.

Off to dinner with Paul.  I have no idea what was served to me.  I know what I ordered, but I can’t see it unless I push the plate to the other side of the table which just looks odd. I can hear Paul’s voice so I am sure that I am talking to him.

POP!

In the middle of dinner my eyesight snaps back into place.  That is Barb, those are my kids, that is Paul, and that is the food I ordered.  The headache retreats, the sun goes down, and all is well.

The Untold Story

22 Mar 2013 4 Comments

by ankoku1331 in BALLS!!!, Deep Thought Tags: , , , , , ,

Welcome to the untold story of our week.  In comparison to other peoples weeks ours is not that big of a deal.  To us though the bottom seemed to have fallen out.

This summer is an important summer for Barb.  This is her first of two mandatory pharmacy internships.  Our plan when the school year started was to take less money up front to be able to take money for summer.  If you did not know, students have to pay for internships.  Yes, you have to pay for the right to work for free for three weeks, and the sites don’t get paid either.  Don’t even get me started.  Still without the internship…well that is the end for her.  Do not pass go!

We planned out the budget for the loan request making sure to cover everything for the summer and a bit into the future, such as starting Barb on a new professional wardrobe.  Her professional wardrobe is very limited at the moment.  Picking up more clothing a chunk at the time seemed like a good plan.  Then the loans got denied.

Nothing like making a good plan, having a good end goal, and finding out that there are things beyond your ability to control.  She was seriously looking at the end of her pharmacy education.   That was devastating.  If her education was over guess what so was mine.  If neither of us was going to school we have to move off campus.  The kids will not be going back to the school they are in that we really like.  That was the kind of situation we were looking at…the end of the grand experiment just when it was getting good.

How good?  One more year for Barb and then onto the good stuff of her degree.  As in getting set up for a job that makes good money and is wanted by employers.  Me…well if you have been following along you know I have a book in progress, I am supposed to be teaching a class next fall, I have a summer research project that could go further than just a one-shot deal…I actually have the prospect of being able to do something with my life that is tangible in a way that most people can understand.

We were so sure that the bottom had fallen out that I actually was considering whether I needed to bother wrapping up this semester from hell.  Not a good time for us.  Thankfully, people who have come through for us before have pledged their support for Barb again.  She will get her summer semester.  Then fall semester will roll around and all will be back to “normal.”

For those people looking for how my girl’s birthday went.

  • We made her wait to open her presents until her brother got out of school.
  • To placate her we took her to Wendy’s (her choice) for a birthday lunch.
  • Then Barb and her went dress shopping to get clothing for Barb’s upcoming White Coat Ceremony (a Pharm thing where they officially become Pharmacists, a big deal).
  • Then we took her to get a pair of Stompy’s.
  • Finally, she got tear into her presents, eat pink confetti cupcakes (family birthday tradition), eat pizza, play, play some more, and as of right now she is asleep on the floor surrounded by her presents.

Out of the Office

22 Mar 2013 3 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Deep Thought Tags: , , , ,

Research MonkeyHello, I am y0ur Research Monkey, PHD.  The boss has stepped away from the office to spend the day with his daughter who is celebrating her birthday.  He assures me that he will be back tomorrow with his usual blend of banality, too many questions, and what he says is humor.  Gas and genital humor must be a human thing.  We primates prefer banana and coconut humor.

Before he stepped out of the office he left this to post.  I am glad because I had nothing to write myself, being busy with a research dissertation on his brain.

To everyone who reads this blog a big and hearty

Thank you

without you, the reader, this blog would be me typing to myself.  I am thankful that people continue to find my writing entertaining enough to read.

To all of the people who have joined in on the conversations as second bigger, and heartier

Thank you

What started out as a hope to start a conversation about human sexuality has exploded in a wide-ranging, intelligent, and civil discussion about many aspects of human sexuality here on my blog and on other blogs.  The discussion has been a joy to be a part of, bringing a variety views on a subject that is difficult for most people to talk about was one of my hopes and goals.  I hope that as the days, weeks, and months continue that the conversation continues to unfold, that even more people take part, and that people, myself included, continue to think and learn about themselves and sexuality.

Nate or Monkey for Mrs. Fever

Time on the Throne with SpiderMan

17 Mar 2013 9 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Random Thought Tags: , ,

SpidermanSpiderman, Spiderman doing whatever a spider can.  Like watching us go to the bathroom.

Our girl is a HUGE fan of Spiderman. When she saw the Spiderman bathroom curtain and floor kit she had to have it.  Lucky for her, the ducky shower curtain was on it’s way out the door.

Since we never do anything half-assed, along with the Spiderman bathroom kit we picked up some Spiderman wall stickers.  SpidermanIt did not hurt that the giant Spiderman and building glow-n-the dark. :)

Spiderman

How I Spent My Spring Break So Far

14 Mar 2013 2 Comments

by ankoku1331 in BALLS!!!, Deep Thought, Sex Thought Tags: , , , , , ,

Shot to the HeadI made a declarative statement that I would give all of you a break from the endless round of questions about sex and I have, two days worth I think.  After updating the Sex Index, where I think I added close to 15 new entries, which means in the space of two-weeks a lot of questions and answers were had.  I believe that a break is justified, if nothing else to allow a fresh perspective.  Still I really want to talk about sex and ask questions.  Thankfully, a few people have added comments to a blog or two keeping the conversation alive. :D

The nice thing about Spring Break is that Barb and I have had a chance to recharge our batteries.  Prior to this week both of us acknowledged that we were a combination of stressed, overworked, underappreciated, worn out from the children, and generally not feeling our normally sexy selves.  That has changed and thankfully so.  Nothing is more depressing, to me, than realizing that you have not been thinking about having sex with the person you love, than to realize that you have not been thinking about having sex with the person you love.

We realized that we had not been thinking about sex for a few weeks.  Which seems odd given how much I have been writing about sex, but writing about sex especially from a Q&A perspective is not me sitting around horny thinking “I should ask people complicated questions.”   It is me sitting around thinking about a term paper on sex communication, sex as a whole, certain sexual lifestyles and acts in particular, and having questions I would like answered.  Maybe an odd disconnect, but a disconnect that speaks to the general level of stress related to college this semester and this college as a whole.

Lego FunSince this Spring Break started neither of us has done anything other than what we wanted to do which turned out to be having sex.  Good sex.  Glad sex.  Happy sex. Fun sex.  On a related, but side note, I don’t know who built that Lego scene, but both of us laughed our asses off.  You should know by now how important Legos are to our family.  The wall of sex toys, resembles our wall of bondage gear.

The other thing we have been doing relaxing.  A big part of our relaxation has been our children.  I don’t know what has caused our girl to cease talking non-stop and  both of them to stop asking obvious questions (such as is that a door or what are you doing when I am on the toilet),but as soon as Spring Break started both of them have given us a break.  Let me tell you if you don’t have children then the only way I can describe what we were experiencing was waves against the shore. Each wave erodes a little bit more of the shore or a little bit more of our patience.

While we have not been able to spend a whole day home yet, we have reconnected as a couple.  We have done things that we have wanted to do.  Not what needed to be done, just what we wanted to do.  There are still four days to go before classes start again and aside from interweb related problems we have plans to do nothing other than what we want, recharge our batteries, have more sex, and maybe even turn our duck themed bathroom into a Spiderman themed bathroom.

I still want to talk about sex, but this break has been good for me.  When the conversation starts up again I will be doing it with a fresh perspective, with a better mindset, and better outlook.

Finally, yesterday I asked for YOUR advice, suggestions, comments, experience, hell whatever you wanted to share about your experience with WordPress.  A few people gave me a lot to think about, but I really want to hear from as many people as possible.  I would like the students that I teach to start off better than I did and to be responsible bloggers.  Please share.

Can I Have My Hour Back?

10 Mar 2013 7 Comments

by ankoku1331 in BALLS!!! Tags: , , , , ,

Budget deficit, world peace, immigration, marriage equality, and the state of the union-these things do not concern me right now. My missing hour concerns me.  I want my hour back and I want that hour back right now.  Maybe it was walking into the bathroom to find Barb looking like she had just finished up a porn scene, her face covered in cream.  Maybe it was my boy making lunch, then after declaring how hungry he was, not eating the lunch he had just made for all of us.  Maybe it was the complete and utter failure of all of my paint brushes today, but damnit I miss that fucking hour.

I don’t need an extra hour of daylight.  My best work happens after the kids go to bed which happens to be AT NIGHT.  That extra hour that “they” tout as an extra hour of productivity for all of those already overworked Americans-did you know that Americans produce the most with the least amount of people who on average don’t have nearly as much fun as other people in the world?  Well you can thank “they” for another hour of work.  Make sure you make more of whatever.  That extra hour for me and I am sure countless other parents translates into a much harder time getting the kids to go to sleep.

Before, when putting the kids to bed the sun was gone and thus it was dark out and thus you, meaning my children, went to bed.  Now…now I have another hour’s worth of useless fucking daylight to contend with.  Unless I can shoot down the sun, I cannot compete with the sun which will find it’s way through the blinds into my children’s eyes keeping them up or worse providing them an hour of light to play when I think that they are asleep.

Even worse the fucktards around here who should be put to bed when the sun goes down have an additional hour of sunlight for the next eight weeks to do the fucktard things that they do.  Such as crash cars (an accident a day during normal hours turns into two a day with that extra hour), binge drink and pass out in the streets (true story one fucktard is still in the hospital), annoy townies, annoy me, run around (that is for all of the herds of runners who actually stop traffic waiting for them to cross the street), waste my time in class and on campus.  See what that extra hour of sunlight has done?

Hell that is another hour that I could get a sunburn or wish that I had a farm so I could grow my own food, but then I remember that I don’t like sunburns and I don’t own a farm, thus that extra hour of sunlight is doing FUCK ALL for me and I get depressed.  Then where am I?  That’s right inside my home trying to get my kids to go to bed, hungry, irritated, and depressed.

So I want my hour back.  Who do I talk to about getting that?

When I’m Not Thinking About Sex

03 Mar 2013 7 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Food Thought, Gaming, Sex Thought Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Dust ZombiesI am taking the day off from writing about sex.  I am hoping that the conversation continues to percolate and I am hoping to hear from some specific individuals…(cough cough) Seattlepolychick (cough cough).   So when I am not thinking about sex, writing about sex, talking about sex, having sex, or responding to people talking, writing, thinking and having sex what do I do?  Would you like to know and see?

Top of my list is college work, but I don’t do that for fun.

Cooking, I like to cook and I was going to cook Friday, Saturday, and today.  However, Friday we lost power, yesterday I cooked up a huge storm of food, and today I have been kicked out the kitchen when a suggestion to get the boy to choose dinner turned into the boy going shopping for dinner and working with Barb and his sister to cook dinner for us.  I am looking forward to this and hoping that for once he doesn’t complain about the food.

I love to read.  Right now I am in the middle of the latest issue of Lucky Peach, about half-way through Dark Tower 4, a third of the way into Ethical Slut, and almost done with the Joy of Sexus.

Axis Leader & TroopsVideo games are another way I relax, but of late games are either too short or fail to hold onto my attention for very long.  The game that was holding my attention Skyrim is nearing the end, as in I have done just about everything that I could possibly want to do. Halo 4 and other shooters have gotten boring, which happens.  Thus aside from Fable III which I just bought and have yet to play because the kids love playing it I am out of games to play.

However to really relax the brain I like to paint miniatures.  A while ago I picked up Dust Tactics which is a alternate World War II board-war game with lots of miniatures.  I was so geeked to start paining miniatures again after almost a decade away from painting.  Why the decade off, because painting requires space, time, and paints.  None of which I have had since the birth of the kids.  Now I have all three…well I finally got paints.  Finding paints was a pain the ass.  There are no local hobby shops.  The local stores only carry Testors which is great for model kits but not minatures.  I finally had to break down and order paints from Games Workshop.  I ordered two different starter kits and quickly afterward was placing a large order for more colors.  The wait for the new colors was almost painful.  I was worried that my skills had atrophied and to some extent they have, but like riding a bike the skills came back.

Allied Leader & TroopsSo as the end of my three-day weekend comes up I thought I would share with you the painting I have gotten done.  One week of school and then Spring Break.  Tomorrow or Tuesday I will recap the start of the Swinging, Swaying, and Sashaying conversation.

700th Post Extravaganza

14 Feb 2013 9 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Deep Thought Tags: , , , , , ,

Party FrogWelcome to the 700th Post Extravaganza and double bonus today is Valentine’s Day.  Did I plan this out?  You will never know.  Unless I tell you, but I won’t do that because some of the mystery that is me will be gone.

I usually write about what I have learned over the last 100 posts and I have learned some new things such as how to get videos embedded into a post.  Not that I will be using lots of videos, but that was a learn.  What I have done over the last 100 posts is work more on shaping the Speaking Out image or name.  Not that I have done a bang-up job of that, but people who don’t want to read about the sex can read over at Speaking Out on Life which is developing a personality all it’s own.  A personality that I am more than happy to encourage to grow.

Here I have been working on getting more people involved with the blog and making the blog more accessible (see the Sex Index).  The Reader Responses Requested was the first attempt and I have been pleased with the responses.  Enough pleasure that I will be posting a new Reader Response Requested tomorrow.  Then there is the Sexuality Project, as I am calling the interviews.  I asked, and still am asking for volunteers to answer a series of questionnaires.  I will be honest I was not expecting anyone to volunteer.  Which means I have been very surprised and exceptionally pleased with the people who have volunteered and responded.  Given that the goal of the project is to increase my understanding of sexualities that I am not familiar with. Then to be able to present that information to other people in a way that is easy to access and digest I have been over joyed with the initial responses.  I cannot wait until the responses from the next round of questions start rolling in.

Hell, I was surprised that I was able to generate a blog on Perceptions on Sex after just the first round of questioning.   I already have a list of sex/sexuality blogs that I am gathering information on.  To the volunteers who have sent in responses, THANK YOU!  Expect more questions soon.   Still room for more volunteers.

The other thing I have been doing is working on learning how to cook Indian and Korean food with some success.  A lot of success if you like spicy food.  I know I do.

Okay, that is enough about me.

I thought I would share some things with all of you.  You know like getting you gifts or cards, but without the wrapping paper or stamps.

Gary's ShoesThis is Gary the Snail and yes he wears shoes.  He will even teach you how to tie your shoes if asked.  Always remember to feed your snail.

ArcherThis is Archer.  He will tell you that he is the world’s greatest spy.  Archer is a mandatory must watch and his book How To Archer is a must read.

Finally, I share with you three things in one wonderful package.  You may not like one or two, but all three together really is like peanut butter, choclick, and pickles.  Just ask my girl, she loves all three and would know better than any of us.  What is this wonderful treat?

Glad you asked.  This is old, but I have kept a copy nearby ever since I saw it for the first time.  Lady Gaga, Cartman, and Christopher Walken mashed together performing Poker Face.  I like listening to Lady Gaga.  I like South Park.  I like Christopher Walken and when I found out that an Australian TV Show had him come on and read the lyrics to Poker Face I was hooked.  Enjoy this Valentine’s Day trifecta from me.

My Spider Girl

04 Feb 2013 3 Comments

by ankoku1331 in Random Thought Tags: , , , ,

My girl loves Spiderman.  Not in a small way either.  She has been a fan of Spiderman since she was…well for all practical purposes she has been a fan of Spiderman since birth.   She wanted to be Spiderman for Halloween before last, but we couldn’t find a costume that fit, so she went as Iron Man.  Shortly after that her love of Iron Man bit the dust, but her love of Spiderman remained strong.

I love supporting my children and their loves.  Maybe not the best of things for a parent to do, but I believe in joy and happiness for the people around me, especially my children.  So I got my girl a Spiderman action figure to go with her Barbie action figures (yes I said action figures).  Spiderman lost his leg in a tragic accident with Barbie’s corvette.  Which by way why is her corvette so out of scale in relation to her?

Later she got a Lego Spiderman set with Spiderman, Doc Ock, and Iron Fist.  She was geeked.  Lego Spiderman played alongside Lego Catwoman fighting crime, beating up bad guys, and generally doing good Lego deeds.  Iron Fist was left to figure out who he really was, I know, he was one of my favorite heroes, but she did not want to know.  She had Lego Spiderman and he was beating the crap out of Doc Ock in his lair.  Until her brother destroyed Doc Ock’s lair.  Undaunted Spiderman and Catwoman continued their crime-fighting ways against any and all Lego villains which grew to include Killer Croc, the Joker, and Loki, thanks to Lego and their contracts with Marvel and DC.

Still my daughter wanted more Spiderman, so I found the animated series.  No, not the one from when I was a kid, which was cool then, but looks like crap now, but the new and improved version which is cool.  She watched all six DVDs in three days.  The call “More Spiderman” rang out anytime she had time to watch episodes.  Even Barb and I got into watching Spiderman.  This was cool with a plot.  Highly recommended.   Then the DVDs ran out.

Spiderman books, Golden Books, mini-comics, sticker books, and more.  If she saw Spiderman she wanted it and if I felt that the object in question had some redeeming value, such as a book to learn how to read, we bought the object for her.  Still I wanted to do more for her and since she was reading with her brother I thought why not try out some comic books.  Searching for graphic novels is a pain in the ass when you have the following restrictions:

  • Target audience four to…well me.  So can’t be too adult.
  • Can’t be too complex.
  • And best of all needs to not look like comics when I was a kid, which were great then, but well lets be honest were kind of dull compared to today’s stuff.

I even sought out help from others.

Then, I found Ultimate Spiderman.  Wow is this thing huge, bright, colorful, a new start to the whole story, and I just hope she likes reading it with Barb and her brother.  Right now, she is watching the new Spiderman movie.

Until he put on the suit she was so very bored, “When he turn into Spiderman?”

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