Writing

All posts tagged Writing

Building A Better Blogger: Stickiness

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 17, 2013
Posted in: Building A Better Blogger. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

What is stickiness? Stickiness is the amount of time that a reader spends on your blog. The easiest way to see how long readers are staying on your blog is to look at your daily stats. As part of the number of views and visitors there is a calculation that shows the average number of views per visitor. If you are looking to build a solid and lasting readership your blog will need to be sticky.

How do you make your blog sticky? Here is what I have done, and what I have what. Some of this advice will be familiar, but that doesn’t make it any less valuable.

Content: the content of your blog is important both to you and your readers you should strive to provide the best possible content that you can. You can do this through writing what you know, writing what motivates you, and writing about what you love. Spellchecking, punctuation, and grammar are also important especially if you have a specific audience in mind.

You can write about whatever you want, this is your blog after all, but just that little advice will demonstrate to any reader that you know how to write, know about what you are writing, and care about your writing. Taking a little time to do just those basic things will get readers interested in your writing.

Links: links within your blog are very important. In general a reader will click on at least one link in a post. If that link takes them to related material, and they like what they read they will more than likely click on another link until they either run out of time or come to the end of the material. If you write about a few subjects linking back to older posts is easy just make sure that the links are relevant and that the posts you are linking back to are up-to-date and edited for obvious mistakes.

Another way to use links is to group related posts together and put them onto separate pages with a introduction as to why these links are together. Another way to display related links especially if they are material that you want your readers to find easily is to create a sidebar link list. Make sure that the sidebar link list is visible from the home page or with one scroll down.

Appearance: the easier you make it for your readers to find information the more they are likely to stick around on your blog. Crisp clean layouts and designs are best. Yes I understand the desire to put your own individual personality all over your blog. However, if your goal is to attract and keep new readers then you need to make their first stop as easy as possible to navigate. There are plenty of ways to personalize a blog without making it look cluttered or making it look like you have no personality. I suggest trying out several layouts and designs and paying attention to your traffic. Once you find the layout and design that gets your traffic where you are happy stick with that layout or design.

Those are three pieces of advice and experience that I have for new bloggers looking to build a longer and lasting audience. If you have any advice please speak out in the comments section.

One Paragraph of Erotica Thursdays: Fun Foods

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 13, 2013
Posted in: One Paragraph At A Time. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

I am in the mood for a single paragraph of erotica…

Welcome back everyone.  Each Thursday I will post between three and five prompts for anyone who would like to write a single paragraph or write more if you want of erotica.  Choose one, choose two, or choose all of the prompts.

banana-splitEveryone is welcome to take the prompts, go crazy with them. Write some serious erotica or have some fun with them, the point is to get you writing and have some fun. You can see the one paragraph category for some examples that I and other bloggers have done.

If you do use a prompt, please link back to the post where you found the prompt. If you post on Twitter please use the #1paragrapherotica.

Without further ado here are the first prompts inspired by Fun Foods:

  1. A lusty vegetarian at a salad bar, a man with a large cucumber, and a power outage
  2. A tropical island, a shipwrecked man and woman, a banana tree, and a curious monkey
  3. A horny teenage boy, two large melons, a bowl of tapioca pudding, and scrambled late night cable
  4. The President, a buffet, a journalist desperate to get an interview, and three secret service agents
  5. A flight attendant, a stubborn bag of peanuts, and two-hour flight delay

Five fun food prompts for you to get creative with in an erotic-ish fashion.

With last week’s Cowboy prompts Betty Homebanger and Mrs. Fever got creative and erotic.  I even learned something about boots. :)

Building A Better Blogger: How Much To Share

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 11, 2013
Posted in: Building A Better Blogger. Tagged: , , , , . 20 comments

Here is a question that at one time or another most bloggers will ask themselves, especially bloggers who are writing about life, sex, and personal topics, “how much do I share?”

I think that this is a very important question.  “How much do I share?” should be a question that every blogger asks themselves ideally before they start blogging.  A blogger should know where their own limits are before they get to far along into blogging.  Unfortunately, this is not always possible.  I have read blogs where the blogger started out writing about one topic and then switched, due to a life event, to a very personal topic.  I do not expect that blogger to have thought about “How much do I share?” when they started out their blog.

Personally I share a lot (see here for one big reason why).  I have always figured that if I would say that to your face, then I can share that same thought in writing.  Now the odds of some of the topics I write about coming up in conversation are low for most people, but I have talked about them or thought about them before so why not share.  Are there things I do not and will not share?  Yes.

Why not share more? The stuff I do not share and will not share are things that specific people have asked me not to share.  Now in most cases I will find a way to use the event without any reference to them in any way, but there are some things that I have yet to share and may never.  I keep the details about my children to a minimum, silly stories that all parents have, and stuff like that.  Core details, those I keep.  Barb, while her name comes up, everything that has her name in it, is something that she has read and approved before I hit “Publish.”  She has a career ahead of her and I do not want to jeopardize that with something that I just as easily could have kept to myself.  I put a lot of thought into each share, before I hit “Publish.”  I have with previous public writings, Scrawlings of a Mad Man, caused a lot of problems for myself and others.  I have had to make many an apology or explanation to someone as to why I shared what I did.  I learned a lot from the those experiences.  Sometimes sharing is best not done or done in a way that has no connection with anyone at all.

Here are some things to ponder:

  • Sharing can lead to trouble at work
  • Sharing can lead to trouble with friends and family
  • Sharing can lead to embarrassment
  • Sharing can lead to confrontation

Why share at all? Sharing makes what you are telling memorable.  Sharing gives weight to your arguments.  Sharing makes points easier and faster than lengthy explanations.  Sharing gives writing that “reality” feel that everyone likes.  Sharing is personal and that connects you with your readers faster than some lengthy story or post.

Here are some things to ponder:

  • Sharing can lead to a deep understanding
  • Sharing can lead to conversation
  • Sharing can lead to assisting other people in many ways
  • Sharing can lead to connections

One last thought before I wrap this up, if you find yourself thinking “I have or may have shared too much,” then you should seriously think about what you are doing.  I find having this thought is a good indicator that I have crossed some line, known or unknown, and that I need to pull back and think about what I have shared and what I may share.  If you do share to much, try to make amends with those people you offended, especially if they are friends and family.

So what am I saying?  Well as lame as this sounds, YOU are ultimately going to have to decide for YOURSELF how much you share, if you share at all, but you should be aware that there are positive and negatives to sharing.  Will I ever get elected to a political office, unlikely if any of my opponents found my blog-best intentions aside at the moment I write and share about a topic that many people find offensive no matter the format and will use that to their advantage with the majority.  Will I make friends and help a lot of people out with sexual issues and thoughts that they have or not know about, yes.  To me that is why sharing is important, again to ME.

Let’s Talk About Sex: Interviews

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 10, 2013
Posted in: Let's Talk About Sex. Tagged: , , , , . 14 comments

This will be a quick post. By the end of the week I will have finished the initial batch of interview questions for those bloggers who have indicated that they want to be interviewed. I am still looking for other bloggers that want to be interviewed. If you do want to be interviewed let me know by email or in the comments.

Each interview will have a generic section for everyone to fill out and a section of questions specifically for that blogger to answer. Each interview will also have a fun component for that blogger to do. My plan is to post a minimum of one interview a month. If more bloggers volunteer then I will increase the amount of interviews posted per month.

My hope and goal with the interviews is to bring awareness, and to foster connectivity and community among the mature themed bloggers. If you would like to be interviewed by me, let me know. The first three interviews will be Kdaddy23, Mrs. Fever, and Kayla Lords.

The Whole Me

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 9, 2013
Posted in: Deep Thought. Tagged: , , . Leave a Comment

This should be the last construction update. I have worked very hard over the last four days to get both blogs up and running. Speaking Out on Nate has gone through the most work, I went through hundreds of posts I moved some, trash others, and set a few aside for other purposes later. Speaking Out on Life is the beneficiary of many of the moved posts, these are posts that are more appropriate on life and are things that I wanted to save.

Originally if you wanted to get a good feel for who I am you could have just read Speaking Out on Nate. It wasn’t a complete picture of me which is where Speaking Out on Life came in, I put a lot of the lighter side of me there. With the mature flag speaking out on Nate was suffering an identity crisis; I wanted a place where I could write about sex and sexuality in an open, honest, and frank manner where people could go for information. I also wanted a place where I could write some of the heavier thoughts, but they would still get read. The mature flag makes that more difficult.

What I decided to do was essentially split me in half, Speaking Out on Nate will primarily be a blog where people can go for information on human sexuality. There will be plenty of other material such as the monthly answering questions, erotica prompts, and the always enjoyable spam. That blog’s focus will be refined hopefully to reach my goal of bringing information about sex and sexuality to anyone that wishes to read it. Speaking Out on Life will be like the old Speaking Out on me an eclectic mix of content. The only content that will not appear on Life is the sex and sexuality content. Speaking Out on Life will get the gaming, the food, the funny bits of life, some fiction, some ranting, and some raving, essentially the other half of me.

I invite and encourage everyone who reads either of these blogs to at least take a look at the other blog. You may find something that you like.

State of Construction

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 7, 2013
Posted in: Deep Thought. Tagged: , , , , , , . 9 comments

Hello all,

The construction and rebirth continue. Again, I apologize for the dust.  While I work behind the scenes, I am continuing work on new posts and series.  I think that having series makes following the conversation easier and keeps topics together.  This is something that got away from me with the Kinky Fuckery series.   What started out as a joke of sorts-my response to 50 Shades of Grey turned into a serious discussion about sex and different sexualities and then got lost in the shuffle.

I will be going through the shuffle and bringing the conversation/discussion to the fore again.  Slowly at first.  At the moment I am compiling a list of Kinky Fuckeries that I want to edit, update, and use for conversation starters.  If you have any that you would like to see me address now is the time to Speak Out (ha).  If you have the time and inclination, take a moment to go through the Kinky Fuckery category and if any of them jump out to you let me know and I will add them to my list.

What is this Sex Thing Anyways will be where I will be starting.  That was a multi-post conversation on what people thought sex was/is and then spilled into the various and numerous related subjects.  The new series, which will start with some recaps will be called Let’s Talk About Sex or something along those lines and will be done at least two to three times a week.  My hope is that the conversation/discussion picks up again and moves onto new subjects.

Other Kinky Fuckeries that were of a more personal nature, will also be getting a new coat of a paint and put into their own category.  I’m not sure what that will be called, but I find that posts of a personal nature are good reads and can contain information of use…mostly along the lines of “Oh that is how we could do that” or “I’d like to try that.”  I think that is equally as important as the larger issues.

For those of you who enjoyed reading the non-sex posts as well, please check out Speaking Out on Life.  That is where most, not all, of the non-sex posts are at and there may even be some posts that you have never read here.  I know my best friend just read my review of Hunger Games for the first time, even though I posted it here over a year ago. :)

Again, I apologize for the upheaval.  I know that some people find change a turn off, but I hope that most of you continue to read, continue to stick around, help out where you can, and when the dust settles enjoy the new and streamlined Speaking Out on Nate as much as you did before.

Thank you,

-Nate

One Paragraph of Erotica Thursdays: Erotic Cowboys

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 6, 2013
Posted in: One Paragraph At A Time. Tagged: , , , , , . 6 comments

red-dead-relaxationI am in the mood for a single paragraph of erotica…

Welcome back everyone, as part of the rebirth of the blog, one of the new regular features will be the One Paragraph of Erotica. Each Thursday, why Thursday because nobody else seems to be doing anything, I will post between three and five prompts for anyone who would like to write a single paragraph or write more if you want of erotica.

Everyone is welcome to take the prompts, go crazy with them. Write some serious erotica or have some fun with them, the point is to get you writing and have some fun. You can see the one paragraph category for some examples that I and other bloggers have done.

If you do use a prompt, please link back to the post where you found the prompt. If you post on Twitter please use the #1paragrapherotica.

Without further ado here are the first prompts inspired by Red Dead Redemption:

  1. A bar, poker game, a prostitute in a hurry
  2. A dastardly villain, a train coming into town, a damsel in distress, a hero who lost his hat
  3. A snake oil salesman, a covered wagon with a broken wheel, three women looking to get to town, blazing sun
  4. A mysterious destination, a cowboy on a stubborn horse, a lost cow, rancher looking for cow
  5. A man with a mustache, a cell phone on vibrate, two college girls, at a rodeo (supplied by Betty Homebanger)

There you go five prompts inspired by a marathon session of Red Dead Redemption. I hope you have fun with them. If you have some prompts that you would like to share send me a message and I will include them in a future post.

Dag nabbit where are my manners, I forgot to say thank you to Mrs. Fever for suggesting the idea to do this more than once in a while.

Please Pardon The Dust

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 5, 2013
Posted in: Deep Thought. Tagged: , , , . 8 comments

As you may have noticed Speaking Out on Nate is under construction or as I like to think, a rebirth of the blog.  I have come to some conclusions after talking with some fellow bloggers, a few friends who know me, and a few more people whose opinion I value.  I thought I would include all of you in on what will be happening over the next few weeks.

First, as you may have noticed I changed the theme. I like this new theme a lot.  As Barb said, “That is more you.”  I am inclined to agree.

Second, several categories of posts will be going away.  Many of them will find a new home on Speaking Out on Life where hopefully they will find a new audience.  I don’t just throw my writing away…well I have, but there were extenuating circumstances.  The categories going away are all low-or-no traffic here:

  • Gaming
  • Food
  • Outside My Window
  • All Fiction except erotica
  • All Book Reviews unless related to sex or sexuality

Third, outside of those things nothing else content wise will change.  Well that is not true, I am planning on expanding the subject matter.  I will still be writing:

  • Answering the ?s
  • Bondage For Beginners
  • Kinky Fuckery although that will be going through a name change and getting some much needed love.
  • Toy Story
  • Naughty Monkey
  • Building A Better Blogger series.
  • Spam to the Rescue
  • I will be working on a new Erotica series shortly.

Fourth, other minor changes will be seen.  I noticed while going through my posts that I lapsed several times with categories and tags, both of those things will be addressed during and after the construction.

Fifth, once the moves and removes are done I will be doing some promotion of Speaking Out on Nate that I have not done before.  Again the goal being to get my writing out to as many people as possible versus a quest for “hits and views.”

Finally, I know that these seem like radical changes, and in a way they are for a blog, but bare with me.  There are reasons for everything that I am doing, most of which I have shared.  I want to say now thank you to everyone who has given their advice, listened to me speak, and provided support.  What I am doing has not been easy to decide to do, essentially I am starting over from scratch, and I want you to know that I have not forgotten you the readers during this process.

I hope that you continue to follow along, continue to comment, offer suggestions and advice and when this is done thoroughly enjoy the new Speaking Out on Nate.

Until then please pardon the dust.  If you do have any thoughts on any of the above, please share them with me.  I am more than happy to listen to anything you have to say and answer questions.

Building A Better Blogger: Who Do You Write For?

Posted by ankoku1331 on June 3, 2013
Posted in: Building A Better Blogger. Tagged: , , , , , . 6 comments

I write for myself.  I write when I want and about what I want.

That is a common refrain amongst bloggers.  I understand that refrain as I have used the same myself and on occasion still do use that refrain.  Writing for yourself is easier, writing when you want is easier, writing about what you want is also easier.  This also implies that you are in control of your writing.  There is nothing wrong with this.  In fact, unless you are Steven King, you are most likely in control of your own writing.

So why the stigma and at times vehement opposition to the concept of writing for someone else other than yourself?  Why is the first response of most bloggers, across all genres, “I write for me” when the topic of audience and writing comes up?  I have been wondering about this since the first time I ran across this response.  I have never heard that response from game designers, from other authors, from cook books authors, technical writers, or any other non-blogger before.  I grew up learning and understanding the following things about writing:

A writer writes for a variety of reasons: enjoyment, work, inspiration, and so on.  The reasons are so varied as to make a book or three that have already been written.

A good writer writes about what they know.  A bad writer…well there are plenty of those.

A writer does not write in a vacuum.  Even if a writer never shows their work to another person the writer is writing for an audience, themselves.  Writers understand that they are always writing for an audience, intended or not.  Most writers will slant their writing for that perceived audience, whether they know it or not.  Just knowing that there are people who read your work will cause writers to continue to write about and/or in the style that their audience likes.

This does not mean that control has been yanked away from the writer.  The writer, again unless you are Steven King (yes I am irked), is ultimately in control of the subject, the words, the sentences, the punctuation, and everything that goes into producing a written piece.  But- and I think this is an important concept- most writers want to be read by someone other than themselves.

This means having an audience.  An audience comes with expectations on both ends.  The writer expects, again consciously or subconsciously, that the audience will like what they write especially if the content and style of writing have been well-received by the audience before.  The audience expects to see the familiar-familiar writing style, familiar content, and familiar presentation.  For the writer this means that unless they are looking to make major changes in content or style (which it is rare to make major changes in style) will continue to write in a way that their audience enjoys.   Should the audience change, a writer most likely will change without realizing that they have done so.  Why?  Because a new audience is most likely to be similar to the old audience, which means less of a shift than it sounds, and because writers are like everyone else, they like and want the approval/appreciation of others.

I write for others. I know this. I acknowledge this.  Is every single one of my post directed at an audience?  HELL YEAH!  I have an audience and I like my audience.  My audience expects a certain style and presentation from me.  If they didn’t like my style and presentation, then they would not read what I write.  Do I shape my topics to fit my audience’s expectations?  Why yes I do-most of the time.  Bondage, sex, erotica, community building, and many other posts are aimed at my audience here.  Over on Life, the audience seems to be gamers and when I write about games I am aiming at them.

Why would I do this?  Because I do not view my audience as something that I am entitled to.  I do not view my audience as something to be earned or collected like Pokémon or like some bloggers think as numbers on a fucking chart.  My audience are my friends.  No, I don’t know most of them in any meaningful way, but they take the time to read what I write and I should, as a thank you if nothing else, give them something that they may like to read.  I get a huge honking kick, and if I may be so bold spiritual chubby, when someone likes a post of mine or even better when someone comments on a post of mine.

So I do write for me.  The content on both blogs is all stuff that I enjoy writing about, even when I am kvetching about life, stats, and college, those are topics that I enjoy writing about.  If I didn’t I wouldn’t write about them.  I do write when I want.  I do write about what I want, I do choose the topic of each post, but I also know and understand that each time I write I am writing for someone else too.

Little Bloggy Bites

Posted by ankoku1331 on May 28, 2013
Posted in: Deep Thought. Tagged: , , , , , . 17 comments

Yesterday I did nothing.

Today I did something.

This post is about a few little things, a couple of which could turn into big things.  Hopefully you will have something to say.

Starting off with something missing:

  • Furry CuffsThe Furry Duck Tape Bondage Cuffs which had been deactivated as a listing on our Etsy shop (sorry I did not know this) are BACK and FOR SALE again.  As silly as this sounds we ran out of fur for the cuffs and finally found a reputable place to get more fur.  Take the link right to the listing. :)

Onto something school related:

  • As many of you know this summer I am working on a Summer Research Project (or Fellowship or Thingy depending upon my mood).  Soon, roughly four weeks from now, there will be a survey that you can take that as part of this Research Project.  I will provide more details in another week or so.  I am asking you now to keep this in mind and to please take part of the survey at least once when the survey goes live.

Onto something potentially huge:

  • Here is a little background:  As many of you know I desire to see a community of mature themed bloggers for a variety of reasons: immediately to get WordPress to give us some respect, and a place to write, communicate, and promote ourselves that is not a dark corner in the world of WordPress.  Long term and more important, is to change the perception of those who write about sex, to change the tone of the conversation, and to promote a positive image of people who do choose to write about sex and sexuality. (I dream big, sue me)
  • Mrs. Fever as part of our “Doing Something Bloggy For The Summer Project” (DSBFTS) suggests or tosses out the idea of a forum.  Alas, WordPress does not have one, thus the idea is put aside in favor of Lady Godiva and Clown Godiva.
  • Here is where we are: I think I have an idea that will allow both of those things to be done.  A courtyard of sorts where everyone can come and play.  Interested?

Finally onto something fun:

  • If you have three to five prompts for next months One-Paragraph of Erotica-ish material for myself or anyone else that would like to take part, please leave them in the comments section.